A few years ago, the biggest solo adventure I had ever embarked upon was a twenty minute train ride to my parent’s house. I have always had either my family, friends, or partner around to hold my hand through everything. I became fully dependent and reliant on the people around me. Doing anything alone started to make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. I knew something had to change. I needed to rewire my brain to find comfort in the uncomfortable, courage amongst fear, and self-reliance in a mountain of doubts. In the middle of a lockdown, with no gear, experience or know-how, I decided I was going to become a solo long-distance hiker; in the hopes of eventually completing the hardest long-distance trail in the UK, The Cape Wrath.
Research
I plunged head first into research and planning, getting lost in a sea of terminology I had never heard before.
My days were filled with comparing R values, material strengths, and weight variations. I’d spend hours sifting through YouTube videos and articles, each one seeming to contradict the one that came before it. So far my journey into the outdoors hadn’t taken me any further than sitting on my sofa surrounded by new shiny gear I didn’t fully understand or know how to use.
The research could only get me so far. It was time to stop delaying, lace up my boots, and get on with it. Borrowing the last few bits of kit from a friend, I set off on my first ever wild camp. I’d like to say it was a huge success, but I spent most of the night wide awake in fear of monster attacks or being told off for being there. Both of which seemed equally probable to my sleep-deprived, overactive imagination. None of that mattered though. I had done it. I had finally taken that first big step out of my comfort zone and onto a path that would change my life.
Forward motion
Step by step, and trail by trail I kept moving forward.
The miles and experience slowly added up as I completed The Cumbria Way, The Dales Way, Hadrian’s Wall, The West Highland Way, The Coast to Coast, The Anglesey Coastal Path, and The Kerry Way. Eventually, after walking 240 miles over harsh un-waymarked terrain through some of the most remote areas of the Scottish Highlands, I found myself standing at the Cape Wrath Lighthouse.
It was the most physically and mentally challenging thing I have ever done.
I have felt lost, helpless, and more scared than I have in my entire life, but I wouldn’t change a single tear or sweat-soaked second of it. Because throughout it all, I found the strength, courage, and self-reliance I had been looking for.
I’ve made countless mistakes and errors along the way, but with every wrong turn, every missed opportunity, and every poor decision, I have learnt something. Whether about how to survive in the outdoors, or about myself. Above all else, I learnt that we should never let fear stand in the way of stepping out of our comfort zones and doing something extraordinary.
